The Blessed Virgin Wonton: 2007

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Update

I have returned from my whirlwind trip to Asia. China may be communist, but they cook a mean duck. I will post more later, but I just wanted to clarify something

Over at Shakesville, someone named Wolfrum- sounds like the devil to me- posted another supposed sighting of my son.

For the record- MY SON CHISELS AND WORKS WITH WOOD! He does not appear on it!

He constructed a lovely bed for me that I might post a picture of someday.

He is such a good boy and loves his mother.

Praise upon you all,
I will return shortly.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Apologies

I apologize for the lack of posts. I have been a very busy Wonton. Between the Ascension and the Resurrection of my son, I have not had time to write anything. Pope Benedict is demanding when it comes to me and I have to behave like a trained seal for the sake of the church. I cannot wait for a new Pope. Benedict is downright nasty sometimes and I want to burn his prized Prada loafers. I will not. I have an image to uphold. Through the marvels of Catholicism, I can think or say whatever I want as long as I visit the Confessional afterwards. Plus, I get a lot of leeway as I am THE BLESSED VIRGIN WONTON and the Mother of Man’s Savior.

I am off to China for holiday and maybe help some of those unfortunates. Chinese food is by far my favorite cuisine and a good roasted duck makes me want to recite seven Hail Marys.

I prefer the traditional Hail Mary,

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Not that overly long one of today.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

So depressing.

CIAO for now and Bless You All with My Love.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The Blessed Virgin Wonton

Friday, March 23, 2007

She's a Hoax!

Dozens of witnesses were on hand for the miracle. A Madonna statue in a hostel for pilgrims in the small Bavarian town of Heroldsbach suddenly began shedding tears two weeks ago -- fat drops of water running down her cheek and dripping off her chin. For skeptics, the photos are difficult to ignore. One worshipper even kissed one of the tears which had run down Mother Mary's cheek and plopped onto her hand. (Spiegel)

Those fine people over at Shakespeare's Sister brought this to my attention and I must tell the true story. This Bavarian "crying" Mary is a hoax. Her real name is Bruna Beidelmeister of Landshut and her father was Hitler's cobbler. I met her many years ago on one of my pilgrimages to the grave of beloved playwright, Bertolt Brecht. She was working the streets like that other Mary my SON knew. I took her in and helped her find a new path. What did I get in return? She stole my cherished Ivory Chopsticks given to me by Da Di, the Emperor of WU. She also killed my beloved poodle, Puddles. That story is too tragic to recite.

Bruna fell in love with a sculptor who used her image to make a statue of me. The Blasphemy! I chatted with my SON and he spoke to his father who owes me many favors but refuses to talk to me directly. Therefore, HE placed Bruna inside the statue. Now, she will cry at the drop of a hat to draw attention to herself.

That is the real story.