She's a Hoax!

• Dozens of witnesses were on hand for the miracle. A Madonna statue in a hostel for pilgrims in the small Bavarian town of Heroldsbach suddenly began shedding tears two weeks ago -- fat drops of water running down her cheek and dripping off her chin. For skeptics, the photos are difficult to ignore. One worshipper even kissed one of the tears which had run down Mother Mary's cheek and plopped onto her hand. (Spiegel)

Those fine people over at Shakespeare's Sister brought this to my attention and I must tell the true story. This Bavarian "crying" Mary is a hoax. Her real name is Bruna Beidelmeister of Landshut and her father was Hitler's cobbler. I met her many years ago on one of my pilgrimages to the grave of beloved playwright, Bertolt Brecht. She was working the streets like that other Mary my SON knew. I took her in and helped her find a new path. What did I get in return? She stole my cherished Ivory Chopsticks given to me by Da Di, the Emperor of WU. She also killed my beloved poodle, Puddles. That story is too tragic to recite.

Bruna fell in love with a sculptor who used her image to make a statue of me. The Blasphemy! I chatted with my SON and he spoke to his father who owes me many favors but refuses to talk to me directly. Therefore, HE placed Bruna inside the statue. Now, she will cry at the drop of a hat to draw attention to herself.

That is the real story.